Jessup’s Marital Questions – Part 3 (Seeking God)

(Read Part Two)

“I’m saying the love of God comes first, in everything and with everybody. That’s all your wife is saying should be first between you two.  Do you have a problem with that?”

“So I’m not allowed to love her more than God, is that it?” Jessup queried, slightly disgruntled.

“Why would you want to do that, Jessup?” asked the counselor.  “Does she do more for you than God?”

“In some things, YES, in my opinion,” the man answered, looking like a little boy. “I can’t have sex with God or go fishing with Him. God can’t cook me a fine meal or bear my children. There’s lots of things Jesus can’t do for me that my wife can.  Why shouldn’t I be more grateful to her than to Him for it?”

The counselor averted his eyes in deeper understanding of Jessup’s heart.  Here was a man who was a boy inside, and that was pretty common. This “boy” was also angry at God, which was also common. But the obvious cry of his heart’s emotions was not all that common. This “boy/man” desperately wanted God, though he didn’t seem to know how to say that. ‘Why’ was the prevailing question on his heart; its outcry resounded louder than any complaint. Why love God more? Why need Him… more? Why? Is there truly something in it for me (as there clearly seems to be for my wife)?  And, if so… WHAT?

More than anything it was clear to the counselor that, through his questioning, Jessup was a man genuinely seeking God…

(TO BE CONTINUED…)


Jessup’s Marital Questions – Part 2

[Review Part One]

“I expected her to be appreciative and say so,” he answered.  “What I told her was a really hard thing… for me, anyway.”

“So you felt you were being vulnerable, is that it?” the counselor offered.

Jessup sipped his coffee with his eyebrows raised, “Yeah, in a way, I did.  I trust her to have the biggest part of everything; not just of me, but of everything I own.  I mean, shouldn’t a husband do that for a wife if he loves her?”

The counselor looked up from his notes, sympathetically.

“Jessup, when you have a serious relationship with the Lord like your wife, your focus is not on the things of the earth.  The main thing… the main Person in your life is Him.  Can you understand that?”

The new husband put his coffee cup down.  “In spiritual things, yes; but this is about our marriage.  In the things about marriage, I thought it was God Who said that the husband belongs to the wife and the wife belongs to the husband.  Is that not true?  It was all I was saying to her.”

The counselor scooted forward and said, “Yes, as it pertains to sexual relations and intimacy, man and wife do belong to each other, Jessup.  But you didn’t specify any of that.  I hope you’re not saying this now just to make more sense to me.  I hope you realize your wife is simply saying God has total charge of your lives in every area, and it’s only by His permission that your bodies are given to one another in matters of intimacy.  Actual ownership of everything you two are belongs to God.  That’s what she is saying.”

Jessup crossed his legs and slumped slightly in his chair.  “So are you saying I shouldn’t love her this much, or want her to love me in return like that?  Are you saying there should be limits or boundaries to how much I love my wife?”

(TO BE CONTINUED…)


Jessup’s Marital Questions – Part 1

“I’ve got a wife who is serious about the Lord,” Jessup said.

“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” the counselor said.

“No… I mean, yes, it’s a good thing I reckon.  But I mean really serious about Him.  To the point where she won’t let me say certain things without rebutting them.  And, to me, these things are nice; they speak my heart, but she won’t hear me.”

“Things like what?” the counselor searched.

“Well, I said the other day that I want her to be the biggest part of me.  She was nice about it, but she definitely said that is something she can’t do.  She said God needs to be the biggest part of me.”

“And so he does,” answered the counselor.  “But you didn’t agree with that?”

“Oh, now don’t you start on me,” Jessup cautioned, a bit defensively.  “I don’t see where it’s wrong for a husband to put trust in his wife, especially when she’s a pastor.”

“Yes, but that’s not what you said to her,” the counselor rebutted.  “You made a sweeping statement about giving her the biggest part of you or something, right?”

“I said I want her to be the biggest part of me, yes.  What’s so wrong with that?” Jessup queried.

“Nothing, if you don’t take God as seriously as you say she does, Jessup.  Really… what did you expect her to say?”

The new husband paused a moment, shifted position in his chair, and formed his answer…

(TO BE CONTINUED)