Not for Me

The reason York and Anders couldn’t work together after Anders was trained is because York was jealous of Anders and only wanted to compete with him. That screwed them both.

There is no room for competition and jealousy in friendship. Its murderous intent only fosters wreck and ruin. So York and Anders went their separate ways; probably best for both of them before the Lord.

But what a pity.


Understanding

Jack was a considerably younger man when I first met him; 59 in fact, and I was 31. At first, he was Mr. Palmer; you know, just a man who was my best friend’s father, who I noticed was good looking but thought nothing more of it.  Then the connection happened. My best friend was stroking Jack’s hair and talking to him lovingly in their kitchen; his head was turned profile, and he was so handsome to me.  It seemed I saw his soul in that moment; a very gentle, misunderstood soul.  I think the one person who most greatly misunderstood Jack was Jack; I still feel that way. He doesn’t truly know himself.

All these years later, I see that rich-hearted Jack in him, along with a Jack who’s been through some things that have made him careworn. I see that handsome Mr. Palmer that I saw back then, but I see him differently, because now he’s my husband as well as my best friend’s father.  Now it’s all different to me. There’s greater understanding in my heart of the man who sat so quietly in that kitchen while his daughter stroked his hair.  There’s deeper understanding of the kind of man Jack is… and there is love, LOTS of love.

Now Jack is beginning to know himself in terms of how much he is loved by God.  Even if we don’t love ourselves we are still dearly loved by God. Little by little, I think Jack’s getting that, and my heart rejoices for what it means. I don’t know exactly how much time it will take, but knowing that God loves you unconditionally is the first step to feeling more comfortable with yourself; addressing your rights and wrongs with the goal of contrition – not condemnation – because God does. Understanding; Jack is on his way there, thanks to the Lord.  He’s on his way to being a renewed gentle, handsome Mr. Palmer and, this time, with no misunderstanding.

 


Quiet

I’m one of those people whose solace is found in quiet. Before I get busy, I like to be quiet. If possible, I will work in silence and, after work, I like to be quiet to wind down.

Obviously, things around me aren’t always going to be that way, and I don’t demand it because I’ve realized that I can be quiet even when my environment isn’t. That’s a critical revelation that spares me much conflict.

Some relish rumbling and busy-ness and noise. I love quiet, and I can have it in Jesus Christ. That is key for me.

SHAMMA 🙂